I lost my last surviving uncle last week when he lost his
battle with cancer. Uncle Tom O’Toole is married to my mom’s little sister,
Elaine. They live in Phoenix, and have all their adult lives. I want to share a
couple of wonderful memories of this great man. Before I do, I think it’s
important to shed some background on my aunt by way of her family.
The Senini’s, John and Alco were immigrants who came to
Chicago to start their family. They had four children: Ed, Irene, Jack and Elaine.
I’m not exactly sure of the dates, the order, or the reasons, but sometime in
the 1950’s they all moved out west to parts in Arizona and started or raised
their families (Grandma and Grandpa and Ed, who had seven children, in Yuma,
and Jack, who had four, and Elaine who had four with Tom in the Phoenix area).
Everyone accept my mom. She married Gabriel Berrafato and stayed in Chicago where
all the other Berrafato’s were. I’m one of seven Berrafato children.
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| Aunt Elaine and Uncle Joe - Mark's Christening |
One of the things I remember as a young boy growing up in the early 1960’s
was that plane travel was really special, exotic even. I thought only rich or famous people
could jet around the country. It was always a rare, special event when there
was a ‘Senini sighting’ in Chicago back then. It also always meant there was
going to be a party! I always associated my Aunt Elaine and Uncle Tom with good
times (and I still do!)
Elaine is my God mother and her husband, Uncle Tom both hold a special place
in my life. He married me! Er, well, I mean he married Cristin and me. See
Uncle Tom is also a retired Superior Court Judge.
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| Judge O'Toole and the proud Father-In-Law, Jules |
When I asked Cristin to marry me we were living in
Milwaukee, all my family was in the Chicago land area, and Cristin’s family was
in the Phoenix area. After many, um, spirited conversations about the wedding
it became apparent that no matter what we did, we were going to be unable to
please both our families so we came up with an idea. Knowing Uncle Tom is a
judge in Arizona, I asked him if he did marriage ceremonies. Imagine my
incredible delight when he said yes! He loves to do these! So we began making
plans for a small ceremony at Cristin’s parent’s Cave Creek home.
Two things
you need to know about my uncle: first, he’s a great athlete and second, he’s a
huge sports fan (with allegiance to his beloved Notre Dame). When Cristin and I
selected our wedding day, we unknowingly chose April 2, which also happened to
be the second round of NCAA playoffs in 1988. The good judge said something
like, “…I’m happy to marry you two, but not until after the game!” This was not
well received by the mothers of the bride and groom (or his wife), however what
choice did we have? If memory serves me correct, he was pleased when his
Wildcats won, however the natives were getting restless. The ceremony was
beautiful and everyone had a great time. I’m also pleased to report that
Cristin and I are going on 29 years of wedded bliss so it really boosted the good Judges' wedding success stats!
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| The evening before Annie and Paul's wedding |
The other quick story is back at the height of my running
days, I was probably running five to seven miles almost daily and at a pretty
good clip. I don’t recall the date, but one day during a visit to my in-laws I
asked Uncle Tom if he’d like to run with me. He said sure, but I need to ‘take
it easy on him’ because he was playing golf earlier that day. Well, we get out
and it immediately became apparent that I was in trouble. Tom buried me! The
only thing more humiliating than being killed by a guy 20 years older than me was his offers to stop and rest, which was clearly
aimed at me.
From 2004 or so to today, I was fortunate to spend much time
in Phoenix on business and was able to get to know both my Aunt and Uncle well.
Two finer people don’t exist and I’m so fortunate to have them in my life. Uncle
Tom, you will be missed; however yours was a life well lived. You did right by
your wife, children, and family. You honored your profession, and you upheld
justice and the constitution for the most vulnerable amongst us. Your faith is
strong, and it has guided you well.
Godspeed Uncle Tom. Godspeed.
