If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward

It's graduation season and all the commencement speakers are sharing their pearls of wisdom with the recently minted scholars who are ready to go out and change the world. Some of them will be successful, and many will fail.  

The other day I came across this commencement speech by Naval Admiral William H. McRaven, a former Navy Seal, who spoke at his alma mater, UT-Austin recently, entitled: 

Ten Life Lessons From A Navy Seal.  

Please read this article and then the commentary to follow will make far more sense.  

What does it really mean to go and "change the world"?  I'm going to be 54 this August and I've been thinking long and hard about what this means.  I'm coming to the conclusion that I've been thinking about this all wrong.  It's not the world that needs changing, but rather me.  Anyone who has read anything I've written, knows that I have come to define success differently than many people.  Successful people do many things, but the following two stand out: 

1. They finish what they start  2. They embrace the concept of sustainability.  The other important point is that successful people apply this to everything they do regardless of how important it may seem.  It's so easy to think that success only gets applied to big, important goals and achievements.  Not so.  Success comes from paying attention to the little things.  

"By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter."

This speech uses an extreme example of physical, mental, and emotional abuse to illustrate his points with the Navy Seal training.  However, the morals are absolutely transferable to each one of us. I sincerely doubt that I could withstand and pass these extreme training exercises and tests to become a Navy Seal.  That's a choice we can make: do I want to apply to Navy Seal training camp? No, thank you I don't. However, we don't get the choice as to whether we want to apply for Life Training Camp.  

Whether we like it or not, we all end up swimming with the sharks during 'hell week'. 

"You can’t change the world alone—you will need some help— and to truly get from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the good                                               will of strangers and a strong coxswain to guide them."

What I take away from Admiral McRaven's speech is that the guys who quit the Navy Seal training camp are the one's who never figure out why they are there and what it's true purpose is. It's not to be first or to beat the other guys, or the system, or do something - anything perfect because it's very design makes this impossible.  It's purpose is to break one's spirit and get them to quit.  This, like life, has a similar purpose and that is to discover who you are and what exactly you are made of.  Are you tough enough to persevere? The purpose is not to win, but rather to finish.  You'll be surprised, like the Seals, how many people simply quit.  Sometimes just by not quitting you find out that you are the winner. 

"Those students didn’t understand the purpose of the drill. You were never going to succeed. You were never going to have a perfect uniform. 

Remember the old phrase you would sometimes hear from older people, "life is a circus"?  Growing up in a large family with 6 siblings, this was so true!  However the Seals have a different take on this idea.  It's more like the, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' saying. The point is that perseverance through continuous adversity does indeed build character, strength and endurance even though you may feel like you are simply being punished.  

"But an interesting thing happened to those who were constantly on the list. Over time those students-—who did two hours of extra calisthenics—got stronger and stronger.

The pain of the circuses built inner strength-built physical resiliency.  Life is filled with circuses.  You will fail. You will likely fail often. It will be painful. It will be discouraging. At times it will test you to your very core."

My favorite though is #5  'If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward'.  This one, combined with #10 is the real secret to success in anything you do.  At times, life is going to be unfair, cruel, unkind, ugly, brutal, unforgiving and just flat out mean. It will also be beautiful, exciting, exhilarating, fun, fabulous, and downright awesome.  You can't have flowers without rain; good times without bad; happiness without sadness; pleasure without some pain.  It's all the 'circus training' that prepares us for the long haul.  

"Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up as a sugar cookie."

The only real question to ask yourself is, are you going to ring the bell or are you going to be the sugar cookie? 

 "All you have to do to quit—is ring the bell. Ring the bell and you no longer have to wake up at 5 o’clock. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the freezing cold swims.

Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT—and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training.

Just ring the bell."

#10. If you want to change the world don’t ever, ever ring the bell.

Note: All quotes are from, Naval Admiral William H. McRaven, 10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal, speech delivered at UT-Austin 2014 commencement  

A Salesman Looks At 20 (with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)

I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast, Never meant to last,
Never meant to last. -J.Buffett-A Pirate Looks At 40

This month marks my 20 year service anniversary at John Wiley & Sons.  This seems like a good opportunity to hit the 'pause' button on this wild ride called life and reflect on a few things.  When you consider how much time we spend working its no wonder that our sense of identity and self-worth get inextricably linked with our jobs.  It's also why the 'Great Recession' is taking a much larger and devastating toll on this country in terms of the number of people (many of our own family and friends) who lost jobs and with them their sense of identity and worth. I'm so blessed and thankful to have found a home at John Wiley and continue to make meaningful contributions.

I once had a boss who challenged me by saying something like, "the reason you work so hard is because you are afraid you'll fail".  I took great exception with this statement and told him he couldn't be more wrong.  I work so hard precisely so that I don't fail.  The difference, subtle as it may be, is in how one defines success.  In sales this is pretty easy - either you make your sales goal or you don't.  But it's not always so 'cut & dry'.  In 20 years I've only missed my sales goal 4 times (and until this past year it was always by only a few percentage points - which means my company made a lot of money on me, but I didn't). My point here is that in those years that I didn't make my goal, I did other things that I knew were important to the organization. One thing I learned many years ago is that when you play by other people's rules, you will lose more than you will ever win because these rules weren't written with your unique strengths and skills in mind.  Although the goal is the same, you need to create your own rules to enable you to use your God given talents to achieve these.  You can miss a goal and still be successful.  I haven't always been so conscientious about these things, however what I did was simply get into some habits where I actually didn't think much about them, I just did them.  Whether it was work or family related, exercise, diet, etc.  I just did it.  Sort of like when you're at the top of the mountain skiing down - if you stop and think about what you're about to do, it gets very scary and too easy to change your mind about the route.  Sometimes it's best to just go (be careful) and do the best you can.

In all seriousness, the one true and perhaps best measure of success for any of us is, at the end of the day, can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say, "I did my best".

"All I I can give you is my very best, and when I do that, I ain't gonna worry about the rest" - Ann Peebles - Give me some Credit

Sustainable Success in 2012 and Beyond

                    

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village.    

An American tourist, who was a

consultant, complimented the Mexican

fisherman on the quality of his

fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and

catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch

was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta

with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends,

have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs . . I have a

full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help

you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell

the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger

boat."

And after that?" asked the Mexican.

With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second

one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of

trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then

negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your

own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, 
Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting,"

answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big,

you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the

coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a

siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying

your friends."  - Anonymous


I love this story!  It's a great launch into today's chautauqua.  I'm calling it Sustainable Success in 2012 and Beyond.  Everyone strives for success, but just what exactly is success?  The achievement of a goal?  Sure, but who defines it?  
Can efforts that fail be successful?  
Who determines whether you succeed or fail?  
Why can this differ depending on who you ask?

I want to talk about how we determine success.  
More specifically, how we should determine success.   I've learned over the years that when I have allowed other people to create the rules of my success, I would fail just about every time.  It sounds so simple, but the trick is for you to create the rules of your success.  God has given all of us unique talents, skills, and attributes.  Just as it's possible to arrange a finite set of notes in infinite sequences to create music, the same is true with the way we use our God given talents to achieve our goals and dreams. The story of the Mexican Fisherman is a great example of this.  Both the Mexican and the American had the same goal, however each had very different ways of accomplishing it.  They also each share very different definitions of success.  


As a professional sales person one of the biggest, most important goals I strived for was being recognized as the Rep Of The Year.  Besides the plaque, money, and Rolex watch (which are ALL fabulous), the real prize is being recognized by your sales professional peers as being  #1. 
It's the equivalent of achieving an Olympic gold medal (in my opinion).  

The problem is that there are so many sales people who are better than I am at so many things and there is NO way I can beat them. After years of beating my head against the wall and intense disappointment, I decided to hell with this and just do what I do best. 


This is where the sustainable part comes in.  
I simply couldn't keep up the incredible and stressful sales effort, month after month, year after year, so I came up with ways to make the day to day grind more manageable and even enjoyable.  This allowed me to tolerate the long hours and mind numbing detail work.  It took me 11 years, and when I least expected it, I did finally achieve Rep Of The Year in 1996.  I am going on 28 years of working this crazy job with all it's unreasonable and often mind numbing travel and nonsense, but I've been able to sustain a level of performance that allows me to be a sales leader in my industry.  


When people ask me what my secret is, I tell them something no one wants to hear.  That being there is no secret.  Just sustaining a reasonable effort over a long period of time, making small and incremental changes regularly.  It's my opinion that greatness is not about winning the race every time. It's about finishing it - time after time, after time. Because what you'll find is that with each race, fewer and fewer people will finish. Excellence therefore is sustainable effort.  The simple test is to place this powerful adjective before any aspect of your life, and see if it is indeed true.

Just to put this into some perspective, I have been jogging since I was 16 and although I was never very fast, I was consistent.  As the years went on I got slower, covered fewer miles and skipped many days.  I conservatively estimate that I have been able to sustain a very modest record of jogging between 2 to 3 miles, 3 or 4 days a week over these 34 years. If you were to average this to say, 9 miles a week, x 52 weeks a year (468 miles a year).  Then multiply this by 34 years you get a total of 15,912 miles jogged.  That’s more than three quarters of the earth’s surface!  Think about it this way, it’s like running from Chicago to Beijing China, and back. Oh yea, then to Costa Rica for some beach time and rest.

Little changes sustained over a long period make a profound difference.   Who are you going to let define your success in 2012?   Let 2012 be the year that each of us introduces the power of sustainability to the important aspects of our lives. 

May you find sustainable peace, Love, friendship, good health, and prosperity in the new year.  

Today I launch my Blog.  I'm calling it, The Other Side Of This Life.  Why?  Because I am.  Regardless of how much time I may have left on this planet, I'm on the other side of 50.  I find myself looking back as often as forward.  Nostalgic? Sometimes. But mostly I find that this is the best way to orient oneself in the present. I'm reminded of the popular Chinese proverb / curse, "May you live in interesting times".  Indeed we do.  However, I don't know that it is any less 'interesting' than the decades of my youth, the turbulent and crazy 1960's and 1970's.  Just different, I guess.

My goal in writing this occasional Blog is simple:  I want to share my observations, experiences, opinions, and thoughts with anyone who may take notice.  I've been thinking long and hard about what my legacy on this planet will be.  I don't think I'm anywhere near finished, but I am coming to some conclusions.  The first, and most important one is that I'm beginning to regularly question just about everything I once thought I knew.  The second one is that I truly believe that it matters what you say and do to the people around you - strangers as well as loved ones.  Thirdly, I want my children to know, I mean really know what I think about things that matter.  

You'll find two themes that will run through just about everything I write.  The first is the concept of sustainability.  Not necessarily in the environmental sense of the often overused buzz word, but rather the very real benefits one reaps from employing and harnessing the true and oft hidden power of putting it to work for you.  Secondly, music.  That may sound a bit odd - music as a theme?  The great soul singer turned preacher, Al Green once said, "There are two kinds of people when it comes to music.  Those who have music as the background to their lives; and those who have music as the soundtrack to their lives.  I have always been the latter."  This describes me pretty well and if you read anything I write, this will come through, I'm certain.

I really don't know who, if anyone will actually read anything I write.  I do have one rule which I will absolutely adhere to as well as enforce.  That being civility and respect at all times.  I'm not particularly interested in finding only readers who agree with me, but rather those who want to share their own experiences, thoughts and ideas as they relate to what I have written.

I like to tell my children that when everyone agrees with you, nobody learns anything.