The Rule of Three

There’s a song Dickey Betts wrote for the Allman Brothers Band back in 1994 called, Change My Way Of Living. The following verse always stuck out for me:

‘Now when your luck runs out, 

that's when your friends will run out too. 

Lord, when your luck runs out, 

your fair-weather friends will run out too. 

You're a very lucky man, Lord 

if there is just one who'll stand by you.’

With the holidays once again upon us I can’t help but reflect on how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family and some absolutely priceless friendships.  Growing up I was never the popular kid, and have always been pretty independent, however I always had a couple of good friends that I could depend on to ‘have my back’.  I’m calling today’s post, The Rule Of Three.  I have learned three very important things about myself over the years.

 

First, life is really nothing more than a series of relationships.  The quality of that life is a result of the quality of those relationships. This is why it matters, I mean REALLY matters what you say and do to others around you. 

Secondly, (and I know this unfortunately is not true for some people) your family is the single, most significant and important relationship most of us have.  The point here is most of us don’t realize the treasure we have in the people we most often take for granted.  The other point is everyone gets a family - good, bad, or indifferent. Some of us pick a family - thru marriage or adoption. But I've come to realize that what truly matters is not what family you get, but what family you keep. The former you have no control over, however the latter is your choice! 

Thirdly, everyone needs a true, trustworthy, reliable friend who they can depend on.  My good friend Hank Henley recently shared a YouTube video of the Bishop TD Jakes discussing the 3 basic types of friends.  Personally I love a good Baptist preacher sermon, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.  The basic message is that the first type of friend is the Confidant.  You’ll have very few of these. They love you unconditionally.  They are in to you.  If you get into to trouble, they will be there for you.  They will confront you, comfort you, and get into your face; they will get into your business.  If you have 2 or 3 of these in your lifetime, you are truly blessed.  Everyone needs at least one of these.  

The second type is the Constituents.  They are not into you, but rather they are for what you are for.  As long as you are for what they are for, they will walk and work with you. Never think that they are for you.  If they meet someone else that furthers their agenda they will leave you and hook up with them.  You must be very careful because if you are broken or hurt you will mistake your constituents for your confidants and you will think they are for you.  They are not for you!  You will fall in love with them and they will break your heart and hook up with someone else because it was never about you in the first place.  

The third group is your comrades.  These people make for strange bedfellows as they are not for you, and not what you are for.  They are against what you are against.  They will team up with you to fight a greater enemy, but don’t be confused by their associations.  They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished.  These people are like scaffolding – they will be removed when the building is complete. Expect them to leave.  But don’t be upset when they are removed because the building they helped you build is still standing. 

The lesson is BE careful who you confide in and tell your dreams to because if you mistake your constituents for confidants, they will break your heart.   

Who are your confidants? 

Here is the link to the TD Jakes YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV6Ki_sau7g